News Update - Last week I wrote a letter of resignation to my congregation.

 "Daddy, what will you do next?" has been a question I've heard frequently from my children over the course of the last week. Each day I'm finding the answer to be "read, pray, write and wait". 

Last week I wrote a letter of resignation to my congregation. 

I am willing to answer further questions about this, so consider the following as my starting point for any future questions regarding my resignation. 

Over the last year, my leadership and the ministry of the Word in teaching and preaching have moved quickly from well-received, to actively rejected, openly spoken against, and continually the subject of malice. As I have sought the wisdom of other brothers and sisters, it has become evident that my serving as pastor was becoming the focal point of a growing conflict. 

Two years ago I made a very poor decision in discerning the need of the church overall. The church said they were excited to grow and wanted to boom with outreach and efforts to welcome the community to use the facilities of the church. Therefore, coming out of Covid-19 protocols, I led attempts to revive programs and general goodwill between the community and the church. As such, I oriented my work to primarily focus on preaching, teaching, and administration of the sacraments, with outreach goals and community involvement and service in mind. 

The church had fractured under its previous minister in 2019 and the church needed to heal and work through several internal relationships and issues prior to growing. Looking back with the benefit of hindsight, while I conducted myself with a clear conscience in Christ-like character in all manners, I made decisions that were not helpful to that church in its greatest need, which was healing. For that, I take full responsibility. The people were still suffering and needed to work through their previous church split prior to my arrival. Due to that split never being fully worked through, divisions, mistrust, suspicion, accusations, and factions grew out of control to the point that led to my resignation. Had I identified the need for healing earlier, my ministry efforts would have been spent in vastly different areas of focus. 

The final tangible moment of my tenure when the congregation realized how split they were, occurred after a congregational vote to continue or discontinue searching for a new assistant pastor to oversee Youth, children, and Music ministry. The vote was 14 in favor of continuing the search, and 13 opposed. Rather than force the church to convene a congregational vote to remove me, I thought it a better alternative to offer my resignation and hope that the Lord would continue to lead the church after my departure. 

In the Lord's timing, I realized that the longer I remained, the worse off the people would be who were spending time in God's word and genuinely growing in their faith. They were at risk of experiencing a second church split only a few years after their messy and scandalous split in 2019. New members were then in jeopardy of becoming subject to a first church split. It was my hopeful intention to unify the church as much as possible, and avoid any splits, scandals, or unneeded conflict. 

I'm thankful for God's Word which instructs so beautifully how churches ought to handle accusations and conflict, both in the general case of individuals within the church (Matthew 18:15-20) and in the specific cases with elders and pastors (1 Timothy 5:17-21). I'm thankful that my conscience is clear regarding honoring the Lord in the midst of serving his people. I'm thankful that in the midst of some of the harshest and most vicious verbal environments the Lord has graciously sustained me, humbled me, and grown my devotion to him. 

Below is a copy of my letter given to the leadership of the board of directors, head deacon, and clerk of the church:

Dear brothers and sisters of [church name],

As your imperfect servant I have endeavored to love you through Christ’s grace to me and lead you towards Christ’s purposes. In light of:

1) The tremendous turmoil, dissension, and controversy caused through my style and substance in preaching, teaching, and in the role of pastor, 

And

2) The widespread divided status of our church on a regular basis under my spiritual leadership,

And

3) With a hope that there may be among many of our families, regular attendees, and visitors, restored peace, unity, trust, fellowship, communion, worship, and mutual respect,

I offer my resignation with 90 days notice per the constitutional amendment regarding a pastoral exit. Should the church desire me to continue preaching through the next 90 days, I'm happy to do so with an effective last day of Tuesday February 7th 2023. Should the church desire a speedier transition, I'm open to negotiation. 

It has been an honor to serve you these past few years. As we all came out of the peak of the pandemic of 2020, we shared high hopes looking to the future. I have high hopes for [name of church] in the future. God has blessed you with each other as a terrific, tight-knit, and tradition steeped community. May the Lord guide you and bless you with wisdom and grace moving forward. 

While ministering among you, it has been a joy to baptize some of you, to weep with many of you, to deliver God's Word to you, and to pray for all of you. 

May God bless our nation, the wider region of [local region, county, and town], and your individual families through the church's future ministry. 

Your Servant in Christ,

Jacob Toman

November 9th, 2022. 

During the meeting on November 9th, the church leadership of the board and diaconate made a decision to no longer have me continue preaching or teaching moving forward. I'm sad that I won't be allowed to finish my time serving the church in the upcoming holiday and winter months as they seek what's next. I am grateful that the church will continue to honor my last 90 days of wages. This will be harder on the church in many ways than on me. For those who are truly seeking the Lord's guidance, I can only echo that sentiment and continue to offer guidance, friendship, and prayer from a distance. 

Over the last week, I've heard from so many brothers and sisters words of encouragement, kindness, and genuine Christian charity. I'm thankful that the Lord blessed me to have been a small part of so many different people's lives. 

I'm thankful for the opportunities I was given at this church, led through the Lord to preach and teach. I'm thankful for the counseling opportunities I was entrusted with, the visitations I was allowed to make, and the people I was able to serve. I'm thankful for the people I've gotten to meet, and the ways how the Lord has used the people in and around the region to teach me, disciple me and grow me in faith in Christ. 

For any who will miss my preaching or teaching I can say this with genuine Christian sincerity - I was never trying to grow your loyalty, allegiance, or faithfulness to me. I have and will continue to point your loyalty, allegiance, and faithfulness toward the author and perfecter of our faith Jesus Christ. Look to him in his word to guide you, grow you, sustain you, shape you, and remake you through the work of his Holy Spirit to be more like Christ. Nothing I did during my time as pastor was out of a desire to have "my way". My efforts were to continually strive to call us all back to the Lord's ways laid out in sacred scripture. 

So what's next for me and my family? That's the question on the mind of my children, my wife, and my own mind. Thankfully, the Lord has given us ample experience in asking this question, resting, waiting, and listening to where we are next to live and serve. The Lord sustains and provides for us, as he has time and time again. As he has always been faithful, he will continue to be faithful. 

I'm prayerful in considering several options:

1) Pastoral Ministry

This would entail serving at another church as their pastor. With this role, I am looking and prayerfully considering serving in churches that desire biblical teaching, Christ-centered preaching, and are faithful in their doctrinal commitment to reformed confessional, creedal systematics. 

2) Continuing my Theological Education and Research

This would entail applying to various academic institutions to pursue a Masters of Theology degree (ThM). The goal of this ThM would be to begin research and development of a thesis within the practice of systematic theology. After a ThM, the prayerful hope would be the pursuit of a PhD and then teach at an academic institution of higher theological education. 

3) Teaching in Christian Education

This would entail serving using my teaching abilities to encourage and equip others in the history of the Bible and the church. While I am open to teaching students of all ages, most likely this would be at a high school or undergraduate introductory level. 

In the short term, I know that today I have more writing, reading, and prayer to do. My wife and I are both working on various book projects and resource materials including a new host website for our written works. 

In the medium term, I have no great sense yet of where the Lord is calling me for any of the above 3 options. After my transition away from missions work in 2018, the Lord used time and many conversations and much prayer to direct my steps toward pastoral ministry. It is my sense that time, conversations, and prayer will once again be factors in gaining a sense of direction. 

In the long term, who knows? I have set many long-term plans in the past, and the Lord has chosen to laugh and reshape my focus. I know that each day I desire to serve my family, provide for my family, and serve and speak of the God who has graciously redeemed me. 

All things are in the Lord's hands. That includes me and my family. What about for you? Are you secure that the Lord has you firmly in his hands? That he works all things out for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose? Are you assured of the purposes of God in your life? I hope you can echo what so many brothers and sisters in Christ have echoed through the generations:

I am not my own but belong with body and soul, both in life and in death, to my faithful Saviour Jesus Christ. (Lord's Day 1 from the Heidelberg Catechism)