Reflecting on 2021: Meetings

Today I'm going to reflect on some things I've learned about meetings. 

Every group of people has their own fair share of meetings. Whether it's a meeting beside a tractor discussing the planned fields to cover that day, or a meeting around a table in a conference room, meetings are a part of daily life. One of the ways God works through his servants in the church is through meetings. For the immediate church where I'm serving, we have one monthly Board meeting, and one monthly Diaconate meeting. Our church also has a couple of committees responsible with various specific tasks related to children, youth, missions, the calendar of church events, and women's ministry. In addition to these regularly scheduled "operational" meetings, our staff gathers to pray and discuss ongoing efforts once a week, and members within the congregation often like to meet to discuss questions, challenges, ideas, and share what the Lord is doing in their lives.

I've yet to meet someone in my life who is excited for "meetings". Sure, there is the rare exception where someone has an idea, a contribution, a suggestion, or a concern they need addressed. People do get excited about their own ideas, but that doesn't mean they are excited for the meeting where their idea will be discussed. Meetings are often perceived as that thing that often takes up and away time from the things we'd like to be doing. The VAST majority of organizational challenges can be handled with small one-on-one discussions. Not every challenge, discussion, idea, suggestion, or comment necessitates a meeting. 

Despite the opportunity for meeting overload, I've learned a few things from the various meetings I've been privileged to be a part of. 

1. You cannot be in two meetings at once.

At the church I'm currently serving both the Board and Diaconate meet at overlapping times in separate parts of the building. There are some advantages to this, one is that members of both leadership groups can come together easily. This has been the biggest strength of this approach. Typically, the Board will have topics to pass along to the Diaconate, and the same goes from the Diaconate to the Board. This is a very healthy thing as each group of leaders see the necessity of the other and is willing to relinquish jurisdiction on a topic depending on the stated bounds of responsibility of each group. 

Another great part of both leader groups meeting at the same time, is that if someone has a specific question, topic, or suggestion for both groups then the individual only needs to set aside one night to attend both meetings. That's a pretty awesome angle for church attenders who are seeking to be involved and attentive to what leadership is discussing and processing. 

That's where the positive things I have to say about both groups meetings comes to an end. 

By having both groups meet at the same time, this creates several conflicts. The first conflict that I noticed was my own conflict in responsibility. I am both called to serve as a shepherd both to the Board and Diaconate. That's really difficult when they only meet once a month, and those meetings occur at the same time. Regardless of my level of efficiency with time management skills I cannot be in both rooms at once. 

Beyond my own conflicts about being in two places at once, I've noticed throughout the last year that others also will share this same tension. If a member of the Diaconate, as a member of the church, has a question, comment, or concern that falls under the jurisdiction of the Board, they will have to leave and forgo their participation in the Diaconate meeting in order to attend the Board meeting. The same is true for Board members if they desire to bring something up to the Diaconate. 

This means in practicality, that while both leadership groups gather together, and have some overlap to discuss any issues they both may need to discuss, individuals are mostly locked out of the other groups discussion on those topics. When I realized this, I had to grieve. These two groups of leaders, who are elected representatives of the congregation, who are the ones who share the great honor and burden of making decisions for the church, are not able to contribute wisdom, insight, patience, love, and a host of other benefits to each other during regular meetings. 

These meetings I hope in the future will be split up or staggered in their meeting time. This would allow for anyone who wants to attend the full duration of either meeting to commit themselves fully (including me!). 

2. Everyone wants to be heard while simultaneously everyone wants meetings to be short. 

This is a strange paradox. On the one hand, some meetings will be longer and some shorter. This is most forgivably true when the necessity of the purpose of the meeting requires for elongated discussion. Yet, while some meetings are long through true need, many meetings are extensively lengthy due to less than effective agendas, moderation, and discussion. 

Agenda's ought to function like a one-way street, moving the meeting from one topic, to the next. There may be additional topics that come up during a meeting which were not planned for that particular meeting. Some of these topics require immediate action, but the vast majority do not. Recognizing the demand and deadline of a topic is a skill that takes time to develop. There are times where a meeting can wait to discuss X, there are other times that waiting to discuss X will lead to extensive consequences. The best plan for meetings is to stick to the plan and trust to wisdom to determine when a rabbit trail is essential rather than a distraction. The agenda is after all the agreed upon essential topics. Neglecting or shoving those items to the side is a disservice to the importance of those already understood important items. 

Good agendas help keep meetings focused, and good moderation help keeps the meeting efficient. While rude behavior like interrupting someone is almost always uncalled for, there is a skill in moving from an aspect of conversation that is less helpful and moving towards an aspect of conversation that is more helpful. I've witnessed numerous "side" conversations break out during meetings over the last year and these almost always slow down meetings. The people who are involved in the side conversation need to be caught up on what the rest of the group was discussing, and the rest of the group then wastes time reiterating or repeating what has previously been stated. Good moderation follows the agenda and helps keep discussion flowing towards decisions to be made, once all the necessary input has been gathered. 

Good discussion is what gets agenda items resolved and is symptomatic of good moderation. Good discussion takes seriously the concerns of others and seeks to build off of previous input. Poor discussion repeats, recycles, and rewinds a conversation such that progress towards decisions and actions are put off rather than put forward. Good discussion requires good listening. So often throughout the last year I've heard multiple voices reiterate in slightly different words the same thing someone else has already said. This slows meetings down. This is different than "echoing", "supporting" or "agreeing with" something someone else has said. This is needless regurgitation. When someone (or multiple people) is reiterating a point, good moderation helps by summarizing the already agreed upon statements, information, and previous decision, and then moves towards the new reality rather than the old discussion. 

3. Meetings are a place to witness God's grace.

Over the last year I've seen people pray who previously said they wouldn't want to pray in front of other people. I've heard people voice their concerns who have said previously they didn't want to speak up or cause trouble. I've witnessed conflict grow, and then be resolved between people who firmly disagree, yet value one another more than they value their own opinion. I've gotten to see a shift in the focus of groups of leaders from temporary, superficial things to more lasting, eternally relevant things. I've gotten to see pride conquered and humility shine. 

At the start of 2021, I was very hopeful regarding decisions to be made during meetings. Over the last year I think I'm seeing a greater value not only in the decisions made, but also the process leading up to making decisions. It's not just the end result of a decision that has a chance to produce Godly fruit, it's also the process. One way to put this is in agricultural language. At the start of the year, I didn't really see any positives to the sowing, the tiling, the growing, and the caretaking aspects of "farming". I was mostly focused on the "harvest" of the decision at the end of the process. At the end of this year, I'm beginning to appreciate and even enjoy the whole process, not just the results of the process. 

Early on in 2021 the Lord gave me words to say about conflict. In preaching I would often say something along the lines of "drama and conflict are pretty common throughout church history. It's not the absence of conflict that reveals our character as Christians, it's how we live in the presence of conflict that reveals our character as Christians". Conflict has been plentiful, both in opportunity, and in actuality over the last year. Yet in the midst of both potential, and actual conflict, I'm delighted to reflect and report that God's people are forgiving towards each other, slow to anger, and quick to see another brother or sister's point of view. 

Meetings can reveal much about a group of people. They can show temperaments and priorities. They also are great opportunities to see how God is at work in his people. With all of the struggles, trials, temptations, and potential for sinful wreckage, it's a glorious thing to see God growing his people to have Godly conversations, ask Godly evaluative questions, and pursue Godly decisions. 

I'm thankful that through meetings God is growing me, my witness of His greatness, and my love for God's people. I'm thankful that through many meetings God is growing His church, our witness of the Lord's life, death, resurrection, and ascension, and our love for one another. 

More reflections tomorrow!